Yes, Daddy
by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa
Summary: Kink Meme Fill. Noctis, Gladio, Clarus, and Regis are having a lovely dinner until Regis asks for the potatoes. "Yes, daddy." Oh, oh dear.


**Yes, Daddy**

 **By** : Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-

 **Kink Meme Prompt** : Regis and Clarus have been fucking each other's sons for going on a year without the others knowledge. You can have this revelation come about any way you chose, it could be between Regis and Clarus, Noctis and Gladio or...OOH OOH OOH, super bonus points for everything coming to light while all four are having dinner together. Also, weather anyone is freaked out, turned on, or just cool with it all is up to you.

 **Author Notes** : I am a sucker for crack. So much crack.

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"Gladio, could you pass the potatoes?"

"Yes, daddy."

Silence.

This was just supposed to be a friendly dinner. There was no particular reason, no pressing matters or worry. Sure, it was a bit uncomfortable to be sitting across from Gladio and Clarus, his father at the head of the table. More uncomfortable, no doubt, must have been Clarus—the ball of Noctis's foot was pressed against the front of his pants while he happily ate the syrupy sweet yam, the only vegetable he actually enjoyed eating with half a stick of butter and two heaping spoonfuls of sugar.

But it was just a friendly dinner.

That was, of course, until his father asked for the potatoes.

Noctis's spoon clattered from his hand onto the table and his foot, which until that point was content to rub around in lazy circles, pressed down. Hard.

Clarus made a noise, though Noctis wasn't sure if it were from the words his son had just spilled out over the dinner table (or the glazed potatoes that were now rolling down across the tablecloth, the bowl overturned when Gladio's elbow smacked right into them) or from Noctis's foot.

It was probably both, if Noctis thought about it.

But right now he wasn't thinking, because his Shield just said _what_.

In all his years, Noctis had never seen Gladio so flustered or the blood drain from his father's face so fast. And Clarus, poor Clarus looked as though he accidentally looked a basilisk in the eye he was so stony.

Silence, and then—

"Uh. Didn't mean to say that."

Didn't mean to say that. Didn't mean to say that. _Didn't mean to say that_. Noctis's mind was spinning to places he didn't want to think of, about his Shield and his father fu—no. No, no. Definitely not.

He did not need that image superimposed into his head, and neither did Clarus.

Clarus let out another sound, though this one Noctis knew as a pained sound, and immediately he pulled his foot back, watching his lips slowly relax, though barely so.

"I… I believe that I should explain myself," Regis said, voice tight and controlled, but Noctis knew that voice. That was the voice his father used when things had gone very, very wrong. It was the voice Noctis knew as the sheer meaning of treading lightly. It was the voice Noctis had only heard once in a diplomatic meeting where Regis had insulted the dignitary of Altissia over a faux pas.

"I think you better start _trying_ , Regis."

Noctis looked back to his own lover, watching the anger building up in the man, and yeah—this was going to have to stop right now.

"Uh, Clarus and I are fucking."

The anger that had begun to turn Clarus's face red now was as white as Regis's face, and Gladio accidentally let out something between a snort and horrified groan. He could also see that his father's hand was shaking and there was the smell of static electricity and ozone.

It seemed as though Gladio noticed that smell, the smell of magic and anger, and he was quick to throw in, "Ditto. Uh, wait. Me and—me and Regis. Regis and I. Yeah."

"How long?" Clarus asked. His jaw was clenched so tightly Noctis could almost hear them cracking.

"A year."

"Same…"

The words did not calm the two men like Noctis had hoped—seriously, the two were some of the biggest hypocrites on Eos, weren't they?—and Noctis knew he had to act fast before something unfortunate happened…. Something very, very unfortunate.

Noctis stared up at Gladio and though it was difficult for Noctis to get the ringing of "daddy" from his ears, this was still one of his closest friends. He nodded to the bigger man and they both managed to jump up before either Regis or Clarus were able to draw weapons or even stand.

But Regis raised his hand up, blinking repeatedly until the smell of magic seemed to disappear back to whence it came.

Gladio and Noctis shared a look, then turned to their respective fathers… and then to their respective _daddies_.

And then they both sat down, the silence between them thick enough for Noctis to imagine sliding his Ultima Blade right through it. Noctis stared back down at his plate, at the yam that was once so appealing and yet now looked even worse than peas. There was no way that Noctis was ever, ever, going to be able to eat it again.

"I think…. Um…"

"This conversation never happened."

"I agree with Clarus."

Noctis bit down on his lip and looked up at his lover, then to his father. He knew better than to say it out loud, but he did look over to Gladio and mouthed one line.

 ** _Yes, daddy._**

Gladio choked.

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 **Please review!**


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